My fears are not your fault. My beliefs and my reaction to certain events because of these beliefs are not your fault. My animosity towards people around us isn’t your fault either. Most of how I feel, what triggers them and what makes them change are not your fault at all.
I am not blaming you because I should not. However there are times when I cannot contain my emotions, so it leaks and reaches you even when it’s supposed to. You begin to feel as if you’re responsible for it, and your world gets disturbed and spins off in an ugly direction.
This year like the last, my mind wants to be in control of my heart although technically that’s just one part of my brain over the other. I would like to change my habit of reacting based solely on my emotions. From my experience, most actions done on the basis of negative emotions lead to no gain for anyone. I would like to change myself so that when I feel something unwelcome, I would think it over first and pray regardless of whether it is rational or not. I would not take action. I would throw the emotion off to the universe and let the universe disintegrate it for me, so that I would be free of unwanted baggage and be able to make better decisions.