This weird mix of routine and spontaneity


Today is one of those times I feel uneasy not because something scary is about to happen but because things have been strangely idle recently. Too idle, actually, that it bothers me like there’s nothing to look forward to or there’s supposed to be something important to look forward to but I screwed it up without me realizing it. Too idle that my mind is making up awful images to keep it busy.

Maybe I did do something wrong; maybe I didn’t. I feel like I’m missing out on lots of things that I can’t take back so easily. Maybe I’m being a drama queen making a fuss over this idleness. Of course, I don’t want anything bad to happen either. But there’s nothing specially good as well. Then I remember that

“When everything is uncertain, anything is possible.”

Like Maka Albarn, I gather up all my faith and hope in my fist and punch the hell out of my fear.

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This weird mix of routine and spontaneity

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